---
title: "Wedding Ceremony Rituals: Ideas with Your Guests | Bagtun"
description: "Hands, rings under the chairs, stones for a tree: rituals for your wedding ceremony that your guests can share in. Ideas from Timo Schaffeld."
url: https://bagtun.ch/en/notes/wedding-ceremony-rituals/
lang: en
---

# Rituals for your wedding ceremony

A ritual does not have to be big. It has to mean something, and it is most beautiful when everyone takes part.

At a celebrant-led wedding there are no rules about what has to happen. That is the freedom and at the same time the difficulty. Many couples choose a ritual because they have seen it somewhere. I prefer to ask first: what should become true in this moment?

## What separates a ritual from decoration

An action becomes a ritual when it carries a meaning that everyone present can feel. A stone is a stone. When someone places their wishes for you in it, it becomes something else. That is why a ritual does not have to be expensive or complicated. It has to suit you.

## Five rituals everyone can share

These ideas are starting points. Every ritual can be changed until it suits you.

## 1. The hands

You stand facing each other and hold hands. I speak about these hands: what they promise today, how they work beside you in everyday life and how they will still be there when they change over the years. It does not take many sentences, a touch often says more.

## 2. The handshake in the rows

When something moves the guests, they often want to share it and do not know how. Then I invite them to squeeze the hand of the person next to them, if they want to. That way the feeling travels through the rows without a word.

## 3. The rings under the chairs

Before the ceremony the rings are attached under two chairs, without the guests knowing. At the right moment I ask everyone to look under their seat. Two people find the rings and bring them to the front. It shows what a marriage is also about: placing what matters most in the hands of others.

## 4. Stones for a tree

At the beginning the guests receive a small pouch with a stone. During the ritual everyone gives the stone a wish. Afterwards the stones are collected and form the foundation for a tree you plant. A moment becomes something that keeps growing.

## 5. The guests' promise

A marriage also lives from the people who help carry it. That is why I ask the guests: are you ready to accompany this couple, in easy times and in difficult ones? When everyone answers together, you can feel that nobody walks this path alone.

## How to find the right ritual

Ask yourselves three things:

- **What does it mean to us?** If you cannot say it in one sentence, maybe it is not yours.
- **Who should be part of it?** A ritual can belong to just the two of you or include the whole room.
- **Does it suit the venue?** Fire, candles or a tree need space and sometimes a permit.

The best ritual is often one that does not exist yet. Tell me what connects you, and we will find it together. More about my work is under [Wedding ceremony](https://bagtun.ch/en/ceremonies/wedding/), or [write to me](https://bagtun.ch/en/contact/) directly.